Thursday, June 11, 2009
The Face that Gets Me Through
I have had a difficult couple of weeks, but waking up each morning next to my husband and the sweet face of this baby boy are what get me out of bed on the hard days. I don't know what in the world I did to deserve to be a mommy and a wife, but I thank God every single day for what I have. A third sweet baby of ours went straight to the arms of Jesus last Thursday. Even though that precious soul is in those wonderful arms, the physical reminder is still here. Why does there never seem to be any rush for it to go away? I pray that it ends soon because I don't know how much longer I can bear this. I pray that I wake up tomorrow and my body feels whole again. We all have struggles we deal with in life. As I have explained before, miscarriage is "that" trial that has been presented to Marc and me and we are trying our best to figure out what God wants us to do with it. We thought it was over two years ago, but nope, that wasn't in the plan. Yes, it is different and easier this time, but that doesn't take away the fact that Marc and I have lost another piece of us. All of these pieces will fit together perfectly someday when we are all reunited in Heaven. Oh my, what a large, perfect family we will have!
One of my dearest & closest friends is also suffering the loss of a child this week, but in a much more difficult way than I could ever imagine. My heart is breaking. Another friend saw her precious baby on the ultrasound screen today with an irregular heartbeat after already experiencing a trip to the emergency room and bedrest. Why is it SO hard? Why do we have to hurt when we just want nothing more in this world than to be mommies? Why, why, why? Someday we will know. But that's the hard part.... waiting for someday.